Stephen: Speaking of never intending to give factual statements, Fox & Friends. This weekend they explained why there is no need for Planned Parenthood, even if 97% of their services are contraception, breast cancer screening, STD testing and other services like pap smears. Because as the brown haired guy who’s not Steve Doocy, told the blond haired guy who is Steve Doocy and the blond haired girl who’s not Gretchen Carlson, America already has a trusted place for those services.[cut to clip]Steve Doocy: He was talking about Planned Parenthood being this great provider where women can get blood pressure checks and pap smears and breast…Bryan Kilmeade: Which you can get at Walgreens!Steve Doocy: Exactly right.[end clip]Stephen: Exactly. You can get a pap smear or a breast exam at Walgreens. I’m pretty sure they’re between the Swiffer refills and the cat food. Ladies just look for the stirrups! I know Walgreens is where I go for all my medical needs. Just last week I got my annual colonoscopy at the photo center. I swallowed a waterproof disposable camera, had a bag boy punch me in the gut to make the shutter go off, hung out in the coffee aisle until it passed, and an hour later got a clean bill of health and a free set of doubles for my family.

Stephen: Speaking of never intending to give factual statements, Fox & Friends. This weekend they explained why there is no need for Planned Parenthood, even if 97% of their services are contraception, breast cancer screening, STD testing and other services like pap smears. Because as the brown haired guy who’s not Steve Doocy, told the blond haired guy who is Steve Doocy and the blond haired girl who’s not Gretchen Carlson, America already has a trusted place for those services.
[cut to clip]
Steve Doocy: He was talking about Planned Parenthood being this great provider where women can get blood pressure checks and pap smears and breast…
Bryan Kilmeade: Which you can get at Walgreens!
Steve Doocy: Exactly right.
[end clip]
Stephen: Exactly. You can get a pap smear or a breast exam at Walgreens. I’m pretty sure they’re between the Swiffer refills and the cat food. Ladies just look for the stirrups! I know Walgreens is where I go for all my medical needs. Just last week I got my annual colonoscopy at the photo center. I swallowed a waterproof disposable camera, had a bag boy punch me in the gut to make the shutter go off, hung out in the coffee aisle until it passed, and an hour later got a clean bill of health and a free set of doubles for my family.



  1. eumelanin reblogged this from fuckyeahstephencolbert
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  3. pocketguineapig reblogged this from queenbev and added:
    still relevant
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  11. segany reblogged this from fuckyeahstephencolbert and added:
    BRB guys, off to get a pap smear at Walgreens.
  12. hippocampes reblogged this from fuckyeahstephencolbert
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  17. intoxikatie reblogged this from fuckyeahstephencolbert and added:
    One of my fave Colbert moments :-)
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  24. thecalzonezone reblogged this from fuckyeahstephencolbert and added:
    rofl he was LOSING IT. One of my favorite bits.
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